hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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