He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
