i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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