haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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