i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
