if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
