Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
