It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
