i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
