I'm drive I can fine osifer
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
