girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
