Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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