Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore

Fav 19 1156 4379
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(845): View more from New York

i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.

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(561): View more from Florida

just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties

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(417): View more from Missouri

Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable

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(503): View more from Oregon

There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.

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(914): View more from New York

It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.

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