so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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