flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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