This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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