i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
