there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize