So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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