It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
