i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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