My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
