yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
