Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
