i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
two words: eviction party
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize