Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize