the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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