Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No stitches, just platelets and will power
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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