So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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