Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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