I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize