okay pat passed out under dana's car
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
