i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
