I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
