erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
