the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
That's intense
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
