You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
