so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
