Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize