Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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