Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
