I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize