Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
