i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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