this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
