How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
