Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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