i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
