I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
