he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
