This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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