so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize