So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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