Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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