I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
