Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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