if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize