Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
