Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
