Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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