i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
