no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
