We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
