Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
