One girl and one boy is just not enough.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
