as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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