I will die if light touches me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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