His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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