I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
