am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
