Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
