did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize