Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
