This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
